We have been trying to figure out your holidays. For a couple you seem to enjoy frolicking with the dead. For one you actually celebrate killing someone slowly. For another you celebrate a fat man. For yet another you take joy in boxes while for a different one you seem to enjoy the changing of a date, although you all seem to not be able to agree on when that date actually is. You celebrate some battles but not all of them (and let’s face it, the year would be just one long holiday if you did that). You have national past times but you rarely celebrate those while you all seem to arbitrarily pick days of great slaughter to have a feast. We thought at first you were just screwing with us. But we have come to realize that you take these things seriously. And, as if you did not have enough real events to commemorate, you started just making them up. What are you going to do when the apocalypse happens? That should be a day off we think. Maybe two.
Reincarnation Blues, Michael Poore, Del Rey, ISBN 978-0-399-17848-1 $27.00, 374 pgs.
Oh ho, we liked this one a lot. It is a sweet book about making mistakes in life over and over and death. Looking back at that sentence we can see how you may not believe us about the sweet part. But trust us, it is. This is the story of Milo and Suzy. Milo is someone who just can’t seem to get it right and so he gets reincarnated over and over again to keep trying. Sometimes he does better than others but then he backslides and spends time as a dung beetle or a tree. Suzy is death, and Milo’s friend, and ultimately lover. Suzy has killed Milo every time, and every time she has been there when he awakens after death. She believes he can find perfection but also knows that when he does she will probably lose him. It is not allowed that death have friends, never mind lovers. But Suzy does anyway. That’s the kind of death she is. Turns out you can only come back 10,000 times and Milo has done it 9,995 so he’s running out of chances. No one is quite sure what happens if he fails since no one ever has. Before you fail, get out there and grab a copy of this. You will want to learn from Milo. More importantly you will want to spend your time getting from beginning to end. Even Klaarg enjoyed this one and he’s particularly picky. Don’t be Klaarg.
Injection Burn, Jason M. Hough, Del Rey, ISBN 978-0-553-39131-2, $9.99, 385 pgs.
We have just one concern about this book. Ours fell apart. Literally. Think on that phrasing for a minute and wonder at our superior turn. Anycase, the pages fell out. We do not know why but they did. And it’s not like we are rough with books. We are exceedingly gentle because we understand how powerful words are and we do not want to piss them off. Anywhys, we liked this book a lot. We had previously followed Captain Luiken’s adventures on the Dire Earth and enjoyed them as he worked to get out from under the world plague that had been brought by aliens. Now he is traveling to try to save those aliens from other aliens. And do not look at us as we do not know either of these species. The universe is a big place and we do not know everyone. So, it’s past the planetary blockade (which we wonder at since planets are big and to properly blockade them with ships takes more than a couple dozen so we are not sure anyone actually took the time to figure this one out. But, okay, the planet is blockaded and they have to get past it. Then the adventure can start. Which we did enjoy, although we discovered that this was just book one of a two book story.
Escape Velocity, Jason M. Hough, Del Rey ISBN 978-0-553-39134-3, $9.99, 415 pgs.
Luckily we had the second book as well. To catch up to where we are, read the above. We’ll wait. Okay, so Skyler Luiken and his new buddies, Captain Gloria Tsandi and her crew, have managed to find themselves through the blockade and are now in orbit and on the planet. This is something that many races have failed at over a score of millennia. (We have had the discussion about how special you Earthers are in the past, correct?) Anyhows, they are disrupting the occupying alien horde and are working to free the old aliens who created the Earth plague to begin with. Think about that one for a minute. We’ll wait. Of course, being Earthers, they manage to do things that no others have been able to accomplish. This is a good thing because it allows for a more satisfactory ending than if everyone just died. We liked these. We liked the first three and we now like these two. We suppose there will be one more that we expect to like as well. You will most likely enjoy it to. You are, after all, special. And we mean that. Honest. Ha, we made a funny.
The Black Elfstone, Terry Brooks, Del Rey, ISBN 978-0-553-39148-0, $28.00, 318 pgs.
To be honest we have not kept up with the whole Shannara thing. We followed the first group, we more or less continued with the second, then we wandered. We dove back with the druids then lost interest. Then we watched the thing on television. And now we are back. This is the beginning of the Fall of Shannara series. We have to say that we more or less enjoy this, although it looks suspiciously like the area around Seattle. But, last time we were in Seattle there were no Elves or other eldritch critters so probably just a place that is similar. All those rainy, depressing rain forests look more or less the same. This time it’s a young girl, full of untrained magic and an old druid who team up for adventure. Along the way they are hunted, trapped, surprised, and discover more than one plot that is waiting to be foiled. Anyways, on we go with the beginning of an entirely new set of adventures. There’s magic and mystery and mayhem and murder and, we said magic, right? If you are a follower then you must. If you are not then you will not. If you, like us wandered off, this is not a bad place to wander back with.
Well, you’ve done it again, wasted an entire cycle. As the Girl Scouts said the last time they did this, “Get your hands off our cookies.” We love the peanut butter ones. You can also throw the crumbs into the ram scoop for an extra boost of fusion power. Okay, we’re off again. But we’ll be back. Watch the skies. Or don’t. Makes no difference to us.