Twenn Tea

April 20, 2019

Greenings Thirders

Happy Eggster to all of you Earthers.  We don’t understand it, we can’t explain it and we promise not to share it with any of the truly superior species who are actively seeking to have you erased from the universe.  Frankly, what you do in your spare time is up to you so long as you promise not to proselytize.  In other words, keep your undead rabbits and their progeny on your own planet.  We do enjoy the eggs though.  We particularly enjoy the dark ones with the creamy centers as you can apparently get them year round, which kind of supports their religious significance.  We are not quite sure how eating the young of others became such a thing for your species but it is one of the few things that you all do with gusto.  One more reason to keep you from getting into space.

Babylon’s Ashes, James A. Corey, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-33474-7, $27.00, 538 pgs.

Okay, we are not sure who this Baby Lon was or why the need arose to incinerate her (him?) as there is absolutely no mention of the baby anywhere in the entire text.  We are familiar with fore shadowing but this is ridiculous.  We will look for Baby Lon in future efforts.  But, for the nonce, we are made happy by the inclusion of most of the old, Babylonfamiliar crew, none of whom got incinerated although it is mentioned a few times.  Once again this is set around the actions of the Rocinante and her crew.  And, once again, the space-based behaviors are right on the head of the nail.  It is all very realistic.  And we love this stuff.  We enjoy watching the people interact and make decisions and take action.  We like the various things that are thrown at them and how they avoid most of them.  We enjoy the politics of it all and the way things are almost never quite as they seem even though it looks like they should be.  And you managed to destroy your own planet!  Fore shadowing indeed.  We like all of these.  A lot.  More than a lot.  Lots perhaps.  You will too. But only if you go out and buy some.  Don’t wait for the television.  Time to break the electronic chains and start to make decisions for yourself.  So, listen to us and get your copies today and you will find yourself enjoying it like we did.

Outpost, W. Michael Gear, Daw, ISBN 978-0-7564-1338-5, $7.99, 451 pgs.

This is book one of the Donovan series.  Donovan being a planet.  And before you ask, we don’t know where it is.  The universe is huge and we don’t know where all the planets are.  And this one in particular does not really sound worth knowing, what with its Outpostcarnivorous plant life, hostile indigenous species, and cataclysmic past.  Fun to read about sure, but fun to visit?  No thanks.  We’ll take Alderan III anytime.  Anyhow, this is about the planet Donovan and the settlers who were dropped off there to make a go of it for corporate profit.  Problem is, none of the supply ships that were supposed to drop off more equipment, more workers, and pick up ore and other goods ever arrived.  And the planet started taking it’s toll.  This led to the settlers becoming a bit more independent than the corporation would have liked. Of course they weren’t there so what was to be done?  At least until a supply ship finally does show up and then there’s anarchy to pay as the corporate crew tries to figure out what’s been going on and why the settlers are dressed so oddly and apparently no longer corporate minded.  So, the planet eats a few, there’s an armed insurrection, the crew of the corporate ship mutinies rather than jump back into the void which apparently ate the other ships, and chaos seems to play itself out.  Interesting stuff with some interesting people doing interesting things.  This is the first of the series. I believe someone pointed that out already.  We’d definitely look at more.  And if you like spaceships with bone temples then you will probably like it as well.

Revenger, Alastair Reynolds, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-55556-2, $14.99, 425 pgs.

Hey Orbit, why are you making us buy all of these?  We’d surely talk about more of them except the exchange rate kills us.  Do you know how many dollars you get for a quatloo?  You know where to find us.  Send us stuff.  So, Klaarg got this one because it had no robots in it and pirates.  It’s half of one and half of the other or six of many or whatever revengerthat saying is when it does not seem to matter which is what.  Anyway, Klaarg picked this one up and he raved about it as it had everything he loves best—no robots, females in charge, no robots, justice for the universe and a wicked twist that does not involve robots.  We read it mostly just to shut him up but he was right, this was fun.  It’s about two sisters who run away from home and jump a spaceship only to discover that they each have special abilities.  Unfortunately the ship they are on is boarded by pirates and not just any pirates but the terror of all pirates, who takes one of the sisters for her ability as the other one hides out and survives as almost all the crew is killed.  Thus the title, as the sister who hid dedicates herself to doing anything to track down the pirate who stole her sister and get her back.  Wicked fun and no robots.

Thin Air, Richard K. Morgan, Del Rey, ISBN 978-0-345-49312-5, $28.00, 528 pgs.

If the name looks familiar it’s because this is the same person who wrote Altered Carbon, which you all read and then watched and loved like we did, right?  No?  What are you thin Airdoing with your remaining time?  Besides making bad choices in any number of arenas.  Anyway, this one is set on Mars and it’s a frontier Mars scrabbling to make a name for itself but also aware that it could die in a moment if the stream of support and supplies were cut off.  As you might imagine this leads to a fairly corrupt political system which just increases the dissatisfaction of the habitants.  The main guy, Hakan Veil, is an enforcer, a failed one at that although he still has much of the body enhancements he was given, and he’s willing to do whatever needs to be done so he can generate enough funds to keep alive.  On Mars that’s no mean feat as you would know yourself if you had read this like we had.  And why have you not?  Stop your self-destructive behaviors and go out and get a copy of this and read about someone else’s.  Who knows, perhaps it will be redemptive.  We like it a lot and we’re interested in seeing more.

So you’ve managed to piss away however long it took to read through this, a long time for some of you.  Not that we’re complaining, ad revenue and all you know, but seriously, you do have bigger fish to fry—at least so long as fish remain a thing.  And, as Aquaman is wont to say each time he reads this, “hey, use waterproof ink next time.”  We would be we hesitate to leave behind too much of a record.  Off we go to nudge a few black holes into new directions.  But we’ll return.  We always have.  Just make sure we have something to return to.   Eyes to the skies.