Twoowinteasixx

January 12, 2020

Greenings Thirders

We come to you now during a time of great change.  Actually, it’s not but you act like it is, scurrying about as if one cycle is all that momentously different from the last or the next.  You can’t even coordinate as a species so you are all doing it at the same time.  And the cycles you pick have nothing special about them.  Sure, one or two of you pick a time when the axial tilt produces equidistant shadow, but that’s not that big of a deal.  The rest of you drape significance on basically nothing.  Which is, we must note, probably going to be your species epitaph.  A beacon will be placed amongst the rubble of your planet letting all who venture out this far, and we do not believe it will be many since you are pretty far off any path imaginable, know that you placed great meaning on nothing.

A Memory Called Empire, Arkady Martine, Tor, ISBN 978-1-250-18543-0, $25.99, 462 pgs.

This was an interesting one.  It involves species we are not familiar with but then you cannot know everyone.  The Teixcalaanli are a star spanning race expanding all the time.  Mahit Dzmare is a new ambassador to them, just arrived and hoping to keeMemory Called Empirep her people, directly in line to be expanded upon, out of the Teixcalaanli view.  And to help her, she has tech installed in her that allows her to carry the memories of the previous ambassador with her. More than memories actually, almost the entire experience of that person.  The problem is that the previous ambassador has been murdered, her tech seems to be not working, and the Teixcalaanli seem to be on the brink of civil war.  As little as she wants to become enmeshed in politics, she finds she has no choice as an attempt is made on her life and the pieces she has begun to piece together show that the previous ambassador was less than hands off.  Complicated and enthralling would be the two words that best describe this.  We loved it and would like to see more.  Well done.  Get you some now.

Tiamat’s Wrath, James S. A. Corey, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-33287-3, $30.00, 534 pgs.

This is the ending.  We think.  It’s hard with your species.  You are good at beginning things but terrible at ending them. Even many of your endings are simply beginnings in a different direction.  That could be the case here.  We are not sure.  But, let’s take it at Tiamats Wrathface value, which we have to do with much of what you do.  We have read all of these, including this one.  We enjoyed them all.  This one included although there was more death in this one than one would have imagined.  Still, it is a species thing so we get it.  Once again the crew of the Rocinante find themselves in the middle of a mess.  But they are not together so acting more as sole agents.  Holden has been taken prisoner by the rogue Martians who are using protomolecule technology to build ships and modify themselves.  Naomi is bunkered down in a shipping container, running the resistance.  Alex is flying a resistance ship along with Bobbie, and Amos is on a mission to free Holden but has gone silent.  The galaxy appears to be going to hell and the proto molecule and the ones who fought it, appear to be still at war, with the humans caught in the middle.  As with all the others of these we enjoyed every minute we spent with it and there were not enough minutes.  Is this the end?  We do hope not although we can see where the end makes sense.  We loved the people, we loved the settings, we loved the very realistic representation of space travel.  Get your own copies and enjoy.

Abandoned, W. Michael Gear, Daw, ISBN 978-0-7564-1341-5, $7.99, 436pgs.

This is the second time we have journeyed to the planet Donovan to see what is going on.  Not us directly of course, but through the reports submitted by this Gear fellow.  Things have not gotten better.  The planet is still deadly to humans and the humans on itAbandoned are still fighting with each other as much as they are fighting the planet.  But that’s what greed and a planet full of resources will do to your species.  Never mind they have no way off the planet and that by continuing to not work together they decrease the chances that any of them will survive.  There’s money to be made and that drives almost everything.  Except for the quest for power which drives the rest.  There are some surprises, as you would expect on a planet that has not been fully explored and which pays for mistakes made in death.  We should also note that the end does not come with this entry so no doubt there will be more.  We liked it even if we find your species frustrating in its single-minded self-destruction.  It moves from start to finish with alacrity and suspense.

A Chain Across the Dawn, Drew Williams, Tor, ISBN 978-1-250-18616-4, $18.99, 317 pgs.

This is another follow up effort.  It continues the story of Esa and Jane as they travel the stars looking for children with special abilities and trying to get to them before they are A Chain Across the Dawnkilled as freaks or taken for other, nefarious purposes, by other searchers.  And that is the case here as the duo run into a being that is also hunting and one that they barely escape from with their lives.  Thus, the chase is on with roles flipping as the chasers become the chased at times.  The ultimate price will be paid when all is said and done.  The chase moves from planet to asteroid to space station all the while Jane and Esa are trying to get a handle on how to defeat their pursuer and figure out exactly what it wants and why.  The answer could provide a resolution to The Pulse, that thing which has sapped all energy in the universe.  As with the above efforts, this is not a finale but an interlude.  We liked the first, we liked this one, we will probably like the next one but should not say so until we actually see it.  Run out now and find your own.  You can thank us later.

Once more you are here instead of there—there being a more productive place.  We leave you this time with words from the Urdanardabanga—Fflgth thgfl fflffl.  Good advice for all of us.  Heads up, the Haufmuff will be coming for a probing session in a few cycles and they are not known for their specificity.  Who knows what they will aim for.  Normally we would not pass such information along but we have taken the words of the Urdanardabanga to heart.  Fflffl indeed.  Time to go.  Us not you.  You could not go if you wanted to, having given up your space faring technology for better phone service.  If you are here next cycle we probably will be too.  Until that time arrives, eyes to the skies.


tuwinteafyeve

December 4, 2019

Greenings Thirders

We write to you using the best words.  Well, not really true, since the Zelnexctl have the best words and they refuse to let any other species use them.  We meant, of course, that we use words that you can understand.  While that does limit our ability to communicate, it is okay as we have been trained to work with species at the dim side of the continuum.  So, everything is good!!  We are excited this time around as we are going to be able to report on a number of very interesting works.  This is the kind of thing that scholars will repeat and dissect for generations if not for the entirety of the next solar cycle.  Do make a point of trying to be around for that to happen, yes?

The Stone in the Skull, Elizabeth Bear, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-8014-2, $18.99, 383 pgs.

We liked this one.  We know we usually wait until the end to let you know this kind of thing but we thought you should know this right off.  This is the first of three, we think, although we have only two at hands.  It is a story of conquest and defense, of gender andstone in the skull sacrifice, of war and turmoil, of obligation and death.  Sounds like you, yes?  It involves a few princesses, a poet, a dead man, a mostly dead wizard, and a mechanical being, among many others.  If the above is not enough to make you run out and grab three or four copies then we do not know what will.  Oh, wait, maybe if we tell you that this is incredibly well put together and very, very engaging.  We’re not sure anything can actually be very, very but if it can it would be this.  We think this might be your past.  Unless it is your future.  It definitely is not your present, unless you are very good at hiding almost dead wizards and mechanical beings.  Get yourself one for the present. It is that time of year.

Knight, Timothy Zahn, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-2967-7, $24.99, 330 pgs.

This is a second entry in a story about a giant spaceship, which, by the way, we must point out, is a human thing.  No one builds giant spaceships.  Not efficient.  You build just to the job you expect and no more.  Think of spaceships like your underwater hero knightsandwiches.  Room is at a premium and while it might be nice to have a huge holo deck or four, it’s not efficient and wasteful.  But, besides that, and besides the fact that the builders and/or flyers of this giant ship are nowhere in sight, it’s a pretty good story.  We like the protagonist who, surprise, surprise, is an earthling girl.  She has spunk and is pretty good at getting things going.  There’s a mystery to what is going on and she’s figuring it out–with help and hindrance from the others on the ship.  We’re not sure about some of the other races mentioned since we have never met any of them, excepting you, of course.  We expect that there will be at least one more in this grouping to come out in the future.  We will read it.  We read this one.  We read the first one.  We have liked them so far.  Klaarg too. No robots.  Get yourself one for the holy day.  The story, not a robot.  There’s too many robots already.

Unfettered III, Shawn Speakman, Ed., Grim Oak, ISBN 978-1-944145-23-1, $30.00, 749 pgs.

We should note that all of the profit that comes from this goes to pay off medical debt incurred by artists.  Unlike many species that generously support their cultural artists (most really, except for the Buluurg who hate art) your species tends to treat them worstunfettered III than second class citizens, requiring them to struggle to survive because you somehow believe this makes their art better.  As if struggling instead of arting makes any kind of sense at all.  Anyway, this is a very big effort.  Not only in the end result but in the actualization.  There are 28 different pieces here, provided by some of your species best short pieces creators.  We could list names but what would be the point of that since it’s the content and not the content creator that is most important here.  Besides it is easy enough to find out on your own so that our listing 28 names seems to be next to the point, or on point or maybe just besides it.  We’re in the ballpark anyway. So, let us say the content is excellent stuff ranging all over the realms of the fantastic from high to low.  We liked it pretty much in total.  We expect you will as well.  And even if you don’t you should be reconciled that your action went toward a cause which should create additional content, some of which you might love.  It is, as you say, a no snooze, no lose proposition.

The Red Stained Wings, Elizabeth Bear, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-8015-9, $27.99, 384 pgs.

This is the continuation of the first effort we told you about (see above) and it is as good as the first.  We thought it started off a bit slow, which we found oddly puzzling since that kind of cored stained wingsntinuity should not be an issue, even with second entries in three-parters, which are typically meandering.  We still liked all the characters and what they were doing, even though everyone was under siege so tied, more or less, to a single place.  We enjoyed the progression of both the situation and the ones involved.  We liked the twists as this is reflective of life (and Klaarg’s navigating although you did not hear that from us).  There is one more coming, or so we believe, and we will look for it.  We expect big things and so far our expectations have been surpassed.  If only we could say the same for you.  Highly recommended.  We give it four stars with none of them being blue dwarfs.

It seems that you have re-produced once more.  Something your species spends far too much time thinking about and doing to be for your own good.  In all cases you have wasted your time here instead of working to end hunger or at least make sure everyone’s got a cheeseburger.  Anyhow, as one of your philosophers was wont to say, nano, nano.  Words to live by for sure, even if you don’t.  Nano, nano indeed.  We’re off for the holidays as we’ve run the numbers and the odds of your creating a light in the sky for some other species to be guided by is fairly high.  If you somehow do not, we’ll be back.  Until then, eyes to the skies and fingers off the button.  Tis the season to be and even you should be able to succeed at that.


Twinteefor

November 15, 2019

Greenings Thirders

We have recently been spending time studying your zombies.  We have watched them shuffle and moan and generally end up creating chaos wherever they happen to wander.  If the shortest distance between two points is a straight line a zombie will never take it.  We do wonder why they don’t just put down their phones and use the internet when they get where they are going as they are wasting everyone’s time with their current behaviors.  And another thing.  We have noted that while you use these devices of communication almost nonstop, that you are rarely actually communicating.  We have noted a great deal of what we would call parallel monologuing taking place.  While we are sure this is productive occasionally, we do wonder whether it’s all just one more reason why you have no idea what’s going on around you.

Inspection, Josh Malerman, Del Rey, ISBN 978-1-5247-9699-0, $27.00, 387 pgs.

Intriguing is the word we would use for this one.  And interesting.  The premise is: would males advance better if they were raised in a society that not only had no feinspectionmale contact, but which had also had any mention of women or girls erased from it?  And, if you then challenged this group, both physically and mentally, could you expect great things from them?  But how would you build and then enforce such a thing?  And that’s the basic idea here.  We need to say that there are a few holes in the thinking process where logic seems to have taken a bender, but you can keep shoving that aspect to the back of your mind as you follow along. It will come bite you at the end but, hey, many positive things come with a sting.  The other thing we enjoyed about this is that it is not just laid out in front of you but presented as a reality that you join in with, so you discover as you go along.  This makes the journey much more interesting.  We liked it, except for maybe the ending which seemed a bit too constructed for us given the pieces that had already been played.

Fate Of The Fallen, Kel Kade, Tor, ISBN 978-1-250-29379-4, $25.99, 352 pgs.

It is a rare story that begins with the death of the protagonist.  And yet that is what seems to happen here.  Ambushed, beheaded, and killed (not quite in that order) before the fate of the fallenjourney even begins.  And then found by his best friend who was coming to join but got there just a few minutes too late.  Of course, the protag is not really absent since his friend is tasked with bringing his head to the king who commanded the quest be done as proof of his death so revisions to the quest can be made.  And death may be too light a word since the protag seems to be communicating with his friend as they journey.  It’s still a strange device–and a misleading one to say the least given how these things are structured—reluctant hero and all that.  And it turns out the now dead protag is the absolute only one who can save the world, or land, or wherever this is taking place.  Even though there are powerful wizards apparently everywhere.  All that being written, we did enjoy the way it unfolded and the way the group that is going to undertake the hero’s journey comes together and, of course, this is just the beginning of the story and not the complete story so there’s a lot more to come.  But, as a beginning it’s pretty good.  We liked it.  You might too.

The Cruel Starts, John Birmingham, Del Rey, ISBN 978-0-399-59331-4, $28.00, 412 pgs.

This takes place in a part of the universe that we are not familiar with.  It also involves a lot of other races that we are not familiar with either.  Except for the humans, but you put yourselves in everything as if the universe revolved around you instead of you being stuck out on the end of a fairly insignificant arm of an unremarkable spiral galaxy.  Anyway, this is about how five disparate people come together to work as a group inThe cruel stars order to thwart the second coming of a group of humans known as the Sturm.  See, even when you are fighting other aliens it turns out that they are you.  The Sturm are kind of like the Borg but just in terms of philosophy and without all the robot parts.  Only the Sturm are worth going on, evolutionarily speaking, and this means you either become a Sturm or they take you out.  Those who have no wish to be Sturm (the Sturm are not really a happy folk) and who also would prefer not to be taken out, must fight back.  Which is fine until you consider the size of the galaxy and even solar systems and how hard it actually is to get the right things to the right places at the right time for them to be useful.  If only for that, we really liked this book and Klaarg felt especially empathic towards that aspect, as well as the lack of robots, although they did have AI which somehow, he is not bothered by.  We like the whole thing.  You will too if you would like to know more about true interstellar combat and logistics.  We realize that does not make this sound like a page turner, but it is.  Find out for yourself.

A People’s Future of the United States, Victor LaValle and John Joseph Adams, Eds., One World, ISBN 978-0-525-50880-9, $17.00, 406 pgs.

Twenty-five individuals are gathered here, each with their own vision of what the future of the United States might be.  We should note that, being human, many of these visions peoples future of the USare depressing and dark for that seems the way of your species.  Not all, of course, for there are always a few who don’t get the program.  It is a delicate thing to write about a future that is one step ahead without falling into inadvertent parody.  Trust us on this one.  It is also hard to base your future on things that exist today but might be gone tomorrow.  Such is the nature of involving politics in, well, anything.  Consider these as thought exercises rather than thought out exercises and you will be fine.  You’ll enjoy if political extrapolation is your cup of tea and, if you are a coffee drinker, then not so much.  For us?  After spending this much time with you we are hitting the bourbon.

Meh, you have done it again, pissed away all that time reading this instead of trying to figure out the secret of chilly fusion.  And, as one of your famous cooking show persons said, “You should only butter one side.”  We’re not sure of the relevance of that but it seemed a deep and meaningful thought.  Onward and upward.  Us, not you, who seem perfectly happy in the mire you have created.  We’ll return.  Unless we don’t. No, we kid, we have a few time periods to go before we can announce success and vamoose.  Eyes to the skies, silly humans.


Tuinteathrea

September 25, 2019

Greenings Thirders

The moon has a dark side.  And don’t we know it.  Having just dumped a lot of stuff there.  We hope the Chinese rover doesn’t have problems with any of it.  Everything should be fine once it hardens.  A few weeks in vacuum should take care of that.  It’s not our fault.  We had to.  Our interociter was acting up and we needed to take it to pieces to see if we could affect a repair.  Boy, if you have ever been pecto deep in an interociter you know what we are talking about.  The manual for that thing is minimal to say the least.  But we think we got it working again.  Just to be safe we are not going to linger here.

The Passengers, John Marrs, Berkley, ISBN 978-1-9848-0697-0, $26.00, 340 pgs.

This is a story of the near future.  Or maybe the near past.  It’s hard to say.  Anywho, it involves driver-less cars.  You have those right now, right?  It’s hard for us to tell as we are not as adept at identifying variant forms of ancient technology as we would hope to be.  And you just have too much of it.  But we speed ahead.  This is not so much about Passengersdriverless cars as it is about being trapped in one.  An individual has managed to hack the programming on a number of driverless vehicles which have passengers in them.  The are trapped and being moved, from different points, to a single, convergent, place.  At relatively high speed.  Need we even say that those inside these vehicles are less than happy about that.  Of course, they are even less so when the hacker starts whacking them off.  Audience to all of this is the group that had been gathered to make determinations around who was at fault regarding accidents involving driverless cars.  Now, they are being asked to make choices that have immediate and lethal consequences.  And to make it worse, the hacker is posting the whole thing live to the internet.  The interplay is between the two groups—the diverse decision-making group and the diverse set of passengers and the way that the hacker manipulates the entire situation using social media and the parsing of information.  We think it’s horrifying enough to be trapped in a vehicle that you have no control over and even more so to think that your most intimate failings are going to be put on your facebook.  We found the entire exercise interesting.  If you want to be terrified of getting into a driverless car then you should definitely pick this one up.  Klaarg reminds you that there are no good robots.

Sisters of the Fire, Kim Wilkins, Del Rey, ISBN 978-0-399-17750-7, $27.00, 446 pgs.

This is the second entry in this series.  It continues what began in Daughters of the Storm and will continue at some point in the future.  It’s the same group as before.  A bunch of sisters, daughters of the king, all in various states and situations, physically and sisters of the firementally.  The central sister is once again Bluebell, the ferocious warrior who dutifully serves as heir to the kingdom.  Sister Rose has been cast out by her husband and is in exile with her aunt.  Sister Ash wanders the moors looking for dragons while sister Ivy now rules, somewhat badly, over a seaport.  Sister Willow is not quite right in her thinking and is making pacts with bad actors to get revenge.  All the sisters end up in the same place along with the dragon, a bunch of raiders, a niece with unusual powers (we kind of left this part out but it’s in there, along with the forest people), a bunch of unhappy villagers, and the king.  It’s an interesting story with a lot of moving parts that works very well.  We liked it and we look forward to the next offering as we are sure there will be more as this story is not yet complete.  Klaarg points out that there are no good robots involved.  We remind Klaarg that there are no robots involved at all.

An Informal History of the Hugos, Jo Walton, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-7908-5, $31.99, 574 pgs.

This is a big un. And, unlike other histories that compile the works in question, this instead, collects writings about those things.  So, completely different.  Jo Walton, who wrote a series of posts for Tor.com, looking at each year’s finalists and winners, from the beginning up to the year 2000, is opinionated and knowledgeable about the subject informal history of the hugosmatter.  Wait, she has not written since the beginning but has written about since the beginning.  And, we are happy to note, this is not done in an academic style which, we think, makes it something for everyone and not the occasional scholar.  Also, because of the nature of this, one post a year, it is possible to watch the change over time since this volume covers 47 years.  It’s a commentary that is as much about your changing and shifting culture as it is about the works themselves and the writers who have put them together.  And, to make the whole thing much better, it includes reactions and responses to the posts that were posted.  Often the posts are as interesting as the initial commentary.  To quote a friend of ours, “fascinating.”  One of the more fun things for us was to just see how many really good things there have been to read over this time period.  We greatly enjoyed this and will be citing it no doubt. You should too.  Enjoy, not cite, although feel free to do both.  Buy your own.  Or buy two.  Why not?  Klaarg has to warn you that there is more than one or two discussions involved robots, good and bad, within.  He’s right, although we’re not sure how he knows such things since he refuses to have anything to do with robots.

The Fated Sky, Mary Robinette Kowal, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-9894-9, $15.99, 384 pgs.

This is a sequel to the first one which was called The Calculating Stars and is part of the Lady Astronaut series.  The lady astronauts do laundry, clean, and bake things they are fated skybest known for, all while having time for a career in space although some of this one is set on the moon and not in space, and not on the dark side, thank goodness.  This is one of your alternating histories, and it is indeed a bit depressing to think that women, who make up a bit more than half of your species, are still considered not the better half, even though the evidence is clearly there for all to see.  We’re just going to leave it at that since we don’t want to rile too many of you up as this leads to war, environmental pollution and the burning of forests, and there is far too much of all of that going on anyway.  We did enjoy this just like we enjoyed the first one and we believe you will enjoy this too, unless you are one of those who think that women are best seen and not heard, in which case you will hate it. Klaarg liked it too. You probably already know why.

Well, another period of time passes and you have once again spent it here instead of looking for that planet killer asteroid that is heading your way.  And, as the host of one of your numerous late night shows says of our work, “Can you believe they’re getting away with this?”  Hmmm, might be time to schedule that one for a probing.  No, we kid.  Probing was completed just 4 months into our 5 year mission when we realized we had all learned everything there was to know about your species.  We’re heading back to the dark side just in case that rover gets too close.  We’ll be back.  Or we’ll be on rover tv!  You can watch for us there, or just look up.  Eyes to the skies.


Twinteeone

June 8, 2019

Greenings Thirders

Your planet rotates.  No need to make a big deal of it.  They all do.  Some slower, some faster but it is sort of a constant.  And yet you act as if it never has and might never again.  You wildly react to each occasion of perihelion and aphelion as if you had something to do with it.  You don’t.  Granted if you stood on each other’s shoulders you would not only reach the moon but get about a fifth of the way to Mars (Go ahead and try it, we’ll wait) (That’s what we thought) and if you held hands with each other you would form a circle about as far from the moon as the moon is from the earth, but that does not make you significant.  It is not physics which determines a species worth but what that species does with physics.  So far you have made bouncy castles and set fire to large things in the desert.  Sure, you are on your way to filling your oceans with plastic, but this is not something you are trying to do so it does not count.

Persepolis Rising, James A. Corey, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-33283-5, $28.00, 549 pgs.

Unfortunately, still no Baby Lon but we enjoyed it wildly anyway. And this is the biggest one as well.  It is thirty years after the last one.  Everyone is older.  By thirty years or so factoring in relativity.  The crew of the Rocinante are still wandering around the cosmoPersepoliss although it appears to be time for the captain and his first officer to call it quits and settle in.  And time to pass the torch on to others who will take up the call of righteous interference.  They choose to do this at Medina station, way port to the gates that will take you everywhere.  As Holden and Naomi prepare to depart a giant ship comes through one of the gates.  Built with protomolecule technology it attacks Medina and is soon in control.  Well, so much for taking time off.  This leads to multiple complications pretty much for everyone.   And then it’s downhill from there.  Or as downhill as you can get in space.  We continue to enjoy this most accurate representation of what it is like to be outside the gravity well.  We are looking forward to the next one as well and we think you should too.  But not until you have read this one.  Go get it now, you can thank us later.

Recluce Tales, L. E, Modesitt, Jr., Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-8620-5, $15.99, 476 pgs.

Have you read all of the Recluce tales?  If you have not then this is for you.  More Tales.  Recluce TalesThere are twenty of them.  And they have been organized in chronological order so you can figure out where they slot into the whole shebang.  And these are genuine tales, not things cobbled together by strangers who just think they understand what is going on.  No indeed, these have been gathered or collected or constructed by the same person who did the originals.  So you know you are getting the prime, A#1 thing.  Really, what more can we say about this.  We have enjoyed the larger works but have run out of them, so this took care of our waiting time.  It should take care of yours as well.  Assuming you are a Recluce person.  If you are not, then it holds no meaning until you go out and get yourself properly oriented.  We should note that a couple have, indeed, appeared elsewhere but, for the most part, these are all original.

Semiois, Sue Burke, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-9136-0, $18.99, 333 pgs.

This is about a bunch of fun guys or maybe mushrooms or possibly intelligent geraniums.  Any case it’s about this place called Pax, which is supposed to be the new Eden, if you consider Eden to consist of things that are working to remove life from your semiosisimmediate future.  Colonists from Earth bail out on their home planet because it’s been ruined or is being ruined or is just not a good place to be anymore and jump a ship to the promised land.  There, they set up a kind of socialist/communist collective but only if it were put together by peace loving hippies who did not really pay much attention to politics.  The colonists soon run into trouble with the plant life, which, it seems, has a mind of its own and can decide to either be your friend and feed you or provide you with poison fruits instead.  On top of all this there is evidence that a previous intelligent species occupied the planet and communicated with the plant life.  Finally, we have to admit that for a group of hippies living on a planet called Pax, they are pretty murderous and deceitful.  But that’s kind of a species quality and, we realize, probably hard to get rid of.  We enjoyed the premise of trying to communicate with a true alien life form although we don’t think this was explored as deeply as it could have been, based on our own experiences with the Plurd, a space faring race that you might consider petunias.  Still, we found it interesting and worth getting to the end of.  We figure you will as well.  Unless the thought that your zucchini might be plotting your demise disturbs you.

The Moons of Barsk, Lawrence M. Schoen, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-9463-7, $26.99, 429 pgs.

This is the second offering.  Once again it takes place on the planet of Barsk, a place Moons of Barskwhere the sapient elephants have been quarantined.  So, this is really two stories, one from the outside revolving around how the elephants got quarantined in the first place instead of just killed off and what’s being done about it, and a story from the inside which covers things from more of a personal, cultural, and historical perspective, including the voice of a true outsider.  It’s convoluted and a bit troubling but also redemptive and a fine follow up to the first offering.  The characters involved are worth getting to know.  We enjoyed the entire thing, especially the way the story involved multiple viewpoints and perspectives.  We have to admit that we will look for more in the future as we got through this one so quickly.  Greatly recommended and no robots.

Well, another month and another period of time that you spent here instead of solving the cold fusion problem.  It’s all just a matter of temperature you know.  And who are we to complain as we are relegated to just watching your self-destruction.  Still, we suppose there are worse things you could have been doing—like solving the warm fusion problem.  And, as the head of your EPA said after reading the last one, “future?  What do I care about the future?  I won’t be there.”  Sadly, most of you won’t either.  In the meantime, we are off to take a look at the moon’s backside.  We’ll return.  We suppose.  We have so far.  Just don’t eat all the popcorn, we’re going to need something to munch on when the whole thing goes boom.  And, until then, eyes to the skies.


Ateine

January 8, 2019

Greenings Thirders

It is good to finally be done with your Holy Days, although as we look at the calendar it does not seem that a week goes by without something that you celebrate by ceasing all work and progress, except for the negative stuff, that you manage to keep doing every second of every day.  We were out in the Oort again, just for the heck of it.  Lot’s of interesting stuff in the Oort.  You can tell a lot by the debris that surrounds a solar system you know.  Best of all the Oort is full of ammunition in case a planetary correction needs to be made.  We found any number of likely planet killer candidates.  But that’s a whole different discussion and most likely not needed since you are quickly turning your planet into an uninhabitable mess anyway.  Well, uninhabitable for you.  We’re sure many things will manage to survive.  And who knows, perhaps for the better in the long run.  Maybe some virus or sea slug will turn into a species that is not as self-destructive as you are.  It could happen.

Cibola Burn, James A. Corey, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-21762-0, $27.00, 581 pgs.

This story just gets bigger and bigger.  It is like the expanding universe.  This big yesterday but this big today.  We still like this a lot.  It’s like letters from home.  Not that anyone sends letters anymore.  But that’s a whole different thing.  This time the crew ofcibola the Roci are sent through one of the newly opened gates to mediate a conflict between authorized settlers and independent settlers for the same planet. As if this were not enough there’s a rebel underground and the tiny bit of goo from the protomolecule that is on the Roci manages to communicate with million-year-old remnants on the planet.  Oh James Holden what have you gotten yourself into this time.  We liked it.  A lot.  A real lot.  We think this is the best stuff out there right now.  Klaarg agrees and has been trying to figure out how he can sign up for a tour.  Not to be missed or ignored.  Read them all.  Do it today.  Who knows, tomorrow they might make a tv show out of it.

The Furnace, Prentis Rollins, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-9868-0, $19.99, 192 pgs.

This is a graphic novel, which is just another way of saying it’s a big comic book.  This is about a guy who gets involved in an experiment that ends up having a world changing furnaceimpact.  Basically, it assigns a shielded AI bot to a prisoner and the bot enshrouds the prisoner so that no one can see them (or be felt by them so far as we can tell).  This seems great and soon prisons are shut down and all prisoners have bots and all bots are run out of a single facility.  The problem is that prisoners tend to not last long under the bot.  None of this really matters except that it is the driving factor in a story that otherwise is pretty boring and mundane. Unless we missed something.  But between the text and the pictures you would think it would all be pretty clear.  We finished it, but, then, it was a big comic book so how hard could that really have been?  Can’t say we liked it.  Can’t say we understood it.  We did like the pretty pictures.  But the story needed to be assigned a prison bot.  We won’t comment that the title might be the most fitting place for this to end up.  Oh wait, we just did.  Bad us.

Welcome to Dystopia, Gordon Van Gelder, O/R books, ISBN 978-1-68219-126-2, $22.00, 406 pgs.

It’s quite possible that this book is the most fitting we have ever come across for your species.  The second title is, 45 Visions of What Lies Ahead.  What the title does not tell you, although you could certainly put it together for yourself, is that nothing good liesdystopia' ahead.  Nothing.  Nada.  Nuttin’.  The nice thing about this collection is that all of the stories are very short.  This means that if there is a dystopian future that you find personally insulting, it’s only a few pages until the next, and perhaps one which might warm your heart.  Contributors include a wide swath of names that should be familiar to all of you.  Kevin Anderson, Lisa Mason, Barry Malzberg, Madeleine Robins, Paul Witcover, Eileen Gunn, Ray Vukecevich, James Sallis, and the list goes on and on and on like the roll call of some vast suicide club penning their final dark thoughts before drawing the blade across the flesh.  We liked it as it met all of our expectations and thoughts about how things might end for you although we have to admit there were more than a few scenarios that even we had not anticipated.  Well done, albeit we are not sure you should try consuming it in one sitting.

Ancillary Mercy, Ann Leckie, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-24668-2, $15.99, 333 pgs.

This is the third offering in this grouping.  We enjoyed the first two very much and we enjoyed this one equally so.  It continues the story of the ship intelligence that ended up ancillaryin a human, kind of, and has been waging a vendetta against the pieces of the current ruler of the aggregate known as the Radch. Yes, pieces, as the person is literally at war with herself.  Needless to say this makes figuring out who’s side you are on very complex.  The former ship, now Breq, is on a station that has been cut off from known space due to the war.  The station is surrounded by potential enemies. To make matters worse the station is visited by an alien emissary of a powerful, if somewhat erratic race, the last emissary of which Breq killed.  And to make matters even more worse, a part of the fragmented ruler shows up.  Talk about trying to figure out which side of the bread is the butter on!  Into the mix are the AI’s who have been set free, the people who are pretending to be pieces of various AIs and beings who are extremely old trying to outmaneuver each other.  As we stated before all this, we enjoyed the machinations, as it were.  So will you no doubt, but only if you peruse it yourself.  Go.  Buy.  We’ll wait.

Here you are once again.  What can we say but wake up!  And remember, love is like oxygen, you get too much you get too high, not enough and you are going to die.  While you are pondering this let us remind you that an authority no less vast than the Washington Post had this to say after reading this: “Pinocchios!!!!”  We did some research into this and wooden you know it, he’s not even a real boy.  We’re back to the Oort for ice cream.  We’ll probably return.  Look to the skies.


Sevintene

December 16, 2018

Greenings Thirders

Holy Days, Holy Days, Holy Days.  We’re surrounded.  And more than slightly confused.  But much of what your species does confuses us.  Which is why we study your writing.  Typically, a species’ writing is a clue to its behavior and culture.  With humans, not so much.  Unless it is that you believe you are doomed to not survive tomorrow.  What kind of future is that to move towards?  We’re not sure as we are on new ground here.  But we have a couple of years left so we’ll just plod along and pretend we understand what you are up to.  Besides the planetary death wish thing, which is kind of evident to anyone who wanders anywhere close to your system.

Hollywood Dead, Richard Kadrey, Harper Voyager, ISBN 978-0-06-247417-9, $26.99, 351 pgs.

I believe we have read all of these so far and we have enjoyed each and every tale of Sandman Slim.  This time, Slim is dead.  He’s been dead before but managed to survive.  And, we have to admit, he is surviving this time too, although his long-term prognosis is Holywood Deadgrim.  Slim has been brought back by a necromancer working for Wormwood, a group hoping to get world power but splintered into at least two sections fighting amongst themselves.  One piece wants Slim to off the other piece and, of course, the other piece is not that keen on being offed.  This leads to multiple dilemmas and situations that put Slim and his friends at risk.  Worst of all, Slim is under a pretty tight deadline.  (Oh yes we did.)  Will he win out?  Does he survive?  It’s a series, yeah?  We liked this one very much and we hope to get more.  You will like it too, but get your own copy, ours got a little too close to the strassnesk sauce and needs to be decontaminated.

Abaddon’s Gate, James A. Corey, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-12907-7, $17.00, 539 pgs.

Hooya, this is another one that we just love.  This is so real to what it is like to be in space that one thinks it must have been written by those who have been there and not one of your own, dirt bound individuals.  We love this stuff.  This time it is all about a abaddons gategate sitting out at the end of your solar system.  The gate is a creation of the proto molecule (which we know nothing about so we think it might be a metaphor) and everyone has gone out to take a look—the Earth people, the Martian people, the belt people and the UN who are kind of the Earth people only different and we’ll leave that up to you to figure out.  Needless to say, you can’t put more than two humans together without getting a fist fight, fists being metaphors for any weapon of any sort, type or destructive ability.  You guys do like to blow each other up.  We enjoyed this one, even Klaarg since there are, apparently no robots in this universe.  Highly recommended.  Seriously.  Why are you not reading this right now?

The Calculating Stars, Mary Robinette Kowal, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-7838-5, $24.99, 432 pgs.

This is maybe one of those imagined histories since it bears no relation to actual events.  This is about lady astronauts and your planet being hit by a big rock.  The big rock destroys a chunk of your United States but, more importantly, tosses enough stuff into your atmosphere (not that you’d really notice) that it is going to change the climate to thecalculating stars point where you will have a hard time surviving.  Well, not you but the ones in the book.  Actually, you too but for different reasons.  So, your space efforts are accelerated because it is decided that you can move to Mars.  Now, we’re pretty sure this was not greatly thought out since the resources needed to survive on Mars probably far outweighs the resources that you would need to stay and survive on your own planet.  But this is not about that.  This is about lady astronauts.  And, this is a lady astronaut novel which implies that there are more coming so maybe you are going to populate Venus as well.  It was interesting barring the few holes in the logic.  But that should not stop you. Or at least it has not so far.  You’ll probably like it.  We did enough so that we’ll pick up the next one.

Starless, Jacqueline Carey, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-8682-3, $26.99, 587 pgs.

We have to admit that we grabbed this one for the title, thinking it has something to do with celestial navigation and Klaarg can always use some pointers with his driving.  But starlesswe were wrong.  Instead it is about gods, who were stars and who were cast down onto the planet (we don’t want to quibble, but someone needs to do some research on how many stars there actually are).  This is also the story of prophecy and about two individuals who are thrust together to fulfil it, along with a cast of characters that makes the journey even more interesting.  This is broken into three parts.  Part one is the training of the bodyguard.  Part two is the meeting between guard and guarded, and part three is the quest.  We have to admit that we enjoyed the entire thing.  It fairly buzzed right along.  Each section fit with the others and, we are pleased to say, there was an actual ending.  And a satisfying one at that.  If you are a previous fan, then you will be a current one as well.  If you are new, then you should stop fooling around and get a copy for your own.  We liked it a lot.  We highly recommend it.  And if you happen to have an extra copy of Celestial Navigating for Dummies, please let us know.

Here you are once again, wasting your valuable time.  While you were doing that we were in your Washington where your current commander in chief said after a quick read, “Great.  I’m really, really great”.  Enjoy your holy days before the comet comes and takes them all away.  If that doesn’t happen, we’ll be back.  Look to the skies.