Twoowinteasixx

January 12, 2020

Greenings Thirders

We come to you now during a time of great change.  Actually, it’s not but you act like it is, scurrying about as if one cycle is all that momentously different from the last or the next.  You can’t even coordinate as a species so you are all doing it at the same time.  And the cycles you pick have nothing special about them.  Sure, one or two of you pick a time when the axial tilt produces equidistant shadow, but that’s not that big of a deal.  The rest of you drape significance on basically nothing.  Which is, we must note, probably going to be your species epitaph.  A beacon will be placed amongst the rubble of your planet letting all who venture out this far, and we do not believe it will be many since you are pretty far off any path imaginable, know that you placed great meaning on nothing.

A Memory Called Empire, Arkady Martine, Tor, ISBN 978-1-250-18543-0, $25.99, 462 pgs.

This was an interesting one.  It involves species we are not familiar with but then you cannot know everyone.  The Teixcalaanli are a star spanning race expanding all the time.  Mahit Dzmare is a new ambassador to them, just arrived and hoping to keeMemory Called Empirep her people, directly in line to be expanded upon, out of the Teixcalaanli view.  And to help her, she has tech installed in her that allows her to carry the memories of the previous ambassador with her. More than memories actually, almost the entire experience of that person.  The problem is that the previous ambassador has been murdered, her tech seems to be not working, and the Teixcalaanli seem to be on the brink of civil war.  As little as she wants to become enmeshed in politics, she finds she has no choice as an attempt is made on her life and the pieces she has begun to piece together show that the previous ambassador was less than hands off.  Complicated and enthralling would be the two words that best describe this.  We loved it and would like to see more.  Well done.  Get you some now.

Tiamat’s Wrath, James S. A. Corey, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-33287-3, $30.00, 534 pgs.

This is the ending.  We think.  It’s hard with your species.  You are good at beginning things but terrible at ending them. Even many of your endings are simply beginnings in a different direction.  That could be the case here.  We are not sure.  But, let’s take it at Tiamats Wrathface value, which we have to do with much of what you do.  We have read all of these, including this one.  We enjoyed them all.  This one included although there was more death in this one than one would have imagined.  Still, it is a species thing so we get it.  Once again the crew of the Rocinante find themselves in the middle of a mess.  But they are not together so acting more as sole agents.  Holden has been taken prisoner by the rogue Martians who are using protomolecule technology to build ships and modify themselves.  Naomi is bunkered down in a shipping container, running the resistance.  Alex is flying a resistance ship along with Bobbie, and Amos is on a mission to free Holden but has gone silent.  The galaxy appears to be going to hell and the proto molecule and the ones who fought it, appear to be still at war, with the humans caught in the middle.  As with all the others of these we enjoyed every minute we spent with it and there were not enough minutes.  Is this the end?  We do hope not although we can see where the end makes sense.  We loved the people, we loved the settings, we loved the very realistic representation of space travel.  Get your own copies and enjoy.

Abandoned, W. Michael Gear, Daw, ISBN 978-0-7564-1341-5, $7.99, 436pgs.

This is the second time we have journeyed to the planet Donovan to see what is going on.  Not us directly of course, but through the reports submitted by this Gear fellow.  Things have not gotten better.  The planet is still deadly to humans and the humans on itAbandoned are still fighting with each other as much as they are fighting the planet.  But that’s what greed and a planet full of resources will do to your species.  Never mind they have no way off the planet and that by continuing to not work together they decrease the chances that any of them will survive.  There’s money to be made and that drives almost everything.  Except for the quest for power which drives the rest.  There are some surprises, as you would expect on a planet that has not been fully explored and which pays for mistakes made in death.  We should also note that the end does not come with this entry so no doubt there will be more.  We liked it even if we find your species frustrating in its single-minded self-destruction.  It moves from start to finish with alacrity and suspense.

A Chain Across the Dawn, Drew Williams, Tor, ISBN 978-1-250-18616-4, $18.99, 317 pgs.

This is another follow up effort.  It continues the story of Esa and Jane as they travel the stars looking for children with special abilities and trying to get to them before they are A Chain Across the Dawnkilled as freaks or taken for other, nefarious purposes, by other searchers.  And that is the case here as the duo run into a being that is also hunting and one that they barely escape from with their lives.  Thus, the chase is on with roles flipping as the chasers become the chased at times.  The ultimate price will be paid when all is said and done.  The chase moves from planet to asteroid to space station all the while Jane and Esa are trying to get a handle on how to defeat their pursuer and figure out exactly what it wants and why.  The answer could provide a resolution to The Pulse, that thing which has sapped all energy in the universe.  As with the above efforts, this is not a finale but an interlude.  We liked the first, we liked this one, we will probably like the next one but should not say so until we actually see it.  Run out now and find your own.  You can thank us later.

Once more you are here instead of there—there being a more productive place.  We leave you this time with words from the Urdanardabanga—Fflgth thgfl fflffl.  Good advice for all of us.  Heads up, the Haufmuff will be coming for a probing session in a few cycles and they are not known for their specificity.  Who knows what they will aim for.  Normally we would not pass such information along but we have taken the words of the Urdanardabanga to heart.  Fflffl indeed.  Time to go.  Us not you.  You could not go if you wanted to, having given up your space faring technology for better phone service.  If you are here next cycle we probably will be too.  Until that time arrives, eyes to the skies.


Twinteefor

November 15, 2019

Greenings Thirders

We have recently been spending time studying your zombies.  We have watched them shuffle and moan and generally end up creating chaos wherever they happen to wander.  If the shortest distance between two points is a straight line a zombie will never take it.  We do wonder why they don’t just put down their phones and use the internet when they get where they are going as they are wasting everyone’s time with their current behaviors.  And another thing.  We have noted that while you use these devices of communication almost nonstop, that you are rarely actually communicating.  We have noted a great deal of what we would call parallel monologuing taking place.  While we are sure this is productive occasionally, we do wonder whether it’s all just one more reason why you have no idea what’s going on around you.

Inspection, Josh Malerman, Del Rey, ISBN 978-1-5247-9699-0, $27.00, 387 pgs.

Intriguing is the word we would use for this one.  And interesting.  The premise is: would males advance better if they were raised in a society that not only had no feinspectionmale contact, but which had also had any mention of women or girls erased from it?  And, if you then challenged this group, both physically and mentally, could you expect great things from them?  But how would you build and then enforce such a thing?  And that’s the basic idea here.  We need to say that there are a few holes in the thinking process where logic seems to have taken a bender, but you can keep shoving that aspect to the back of your mind as you follow along. It will come bite you at the end but, hey, many positive things come with a sting.  The other thing we enjoyed about this is that it is not just laid out in front of you but presented as a reality that you join in with, so you discover as you go along.  This makes the journey much more interesting.  We liked it, except for maybe the ending which seemed a bit too constructed for us given the pieces that had already been played.

Fate Of The Fallen, Kel Kade, Tor, ISBN 978-1-250-29379-4, $25.99, 352 pgs.

It is a rare story that begins with the death of the protagonist.  And yet that is what seems to happen here.  Ambushed, beheaded, and killed (not quite in that order) before the fate of the fallenjourney even begins.  And then found by his best friend who was coming to join but got there just a few minutes too late.  Of course, the protag is not really absent since his friend is tasked with bringing his head to the king who commanded the quest be done as proof of his death so revisions to the quest can be made.  And death may be too light a word since the protag seems to be communicating with his friend as they journey.  It’s still a strange device–and a misleading one to say the least given how these things are structured—reluctant hero and all that.  And it turns out the now dead protag is the absolute only one who can save the world, or land, or wherever this is taking place.  Even though there are powerful wizards apparently everywhere.  All that being written, we did enjoy the way it unfolded and the way the group that is going to undertake the hero’s journey comes together and, of course, this is just the beginning of the story and not the complete story so there’s a lot more to come.  But, as a beginning it’s pretty good.  We liked it.  You might too.

The Cruel Starts, John Birmingham, Del Rey, ISBN 978-0-399-59331-4, $28.00, 412 pgs.

This takes place in a part of the universe that we are not familiar with.  It also involves a lot of other races that we are not familiar with either.  Except for the humans, but you put yourselves in everything as if the universe revolved around you instead of you being stuck out on the end of a fairly insignificant arm of an unremarkable spiral galaxy.  Anyway, this is about how five disparate people come together to work as a group inThe cruel stars order to thwart the second coming of a group of humans known as the Sturm.  See, even when you are fighting other aliens it turns out that they are you.  The Sturm are kind of like the Borg but just in terms of philosophy and without all the robot parts.  Only the Sturm are worth going on, evolutionarily speaking, and this means you either become a Sturm or they take you out.  Those who have no wish to be Sturm (the Sturm are not really a happy folk) and who also would prefer not to be taken out, must fight back.  Which is fine until you consider the size of the galaxy and even solar systems and how hard it actually is to get the right things to the right places at the right time for them to be useful.  If only for that, we really liked this book and Klaarg felt especially empathic towards that aspect, as well as the lack of robots, although they did have AI which somehow, he is not bothered by.  We like the whole thing.  You will too if you would like to know more about true interstellar combat and logistics.  We realize that does not make this sound like a page turner, but it is.  Find out for yourself.

A People’s Future of the United States, Victor LaValle and John Joseph Adams, Eds., One World, ISBN 978-0-525-50880-9, $17.00, 406 pgs.

Twenty-five individuals are gathered here, each with their own vision of what the future of the United States might be.  We should note that, being human, many of these visions peoples future of the USare depressing and dark for that seems the way of your species.  Not all, of course, for there are always a few who don’t get the program.  It is a delicate thing to write about a future that is one step ahead without falling into inadvertent parody.  Trust us on this one.  It is also hard to base your future on things that exist today but might be gone tomorrow.  Such is the nature of involving politics in, well, anything.  Consider these as thought exercises rather than thought out exercises and you will be fine.  You’ll enjoy if political extrapolation is your cup of tea and, if you are a coffee drinker, then not so much.  For us?  After spending this much time with you we are hitting the bourbon.

Meh, you have done it again, pissed away all that time reading this instead of trying to figure out the secret of chilly fusion.  And, as one of your famous cooking show persons said, “You should only butter one side.”  We’re not sure of the relevance of that but it seemed a deep and meaningful thought.  Onward and upward.  Us, not you, who seem perfectly happy in the mire you have created.  We’ll return.  Unless we don’t. No, we kid, we have a few time periods to go before we can announce success and vamoose.  Eyes to the skies, silly humans.


Tuinteathrea

September 25, 2019

Greenings Thirders

The moon has a dark side.  And don’t we know it.  Having just dumped a lot of stuff there.  We hope the Chinese rover doesn’t have problems with any of it.  Everything should be fine once it hardens.  A few weeks in vacuum should take care of that.  It’s not our fault.  We had to.  Our interociter was acting up and we needed to take it to pieces to see if we could affect a repair.  Boy, if you have ever been pecto deep in an interociter you know what we are talking about.  The manual for that thing is minimal to say the least.  But we think we got it working again.  Just to be safe we are not going to linger here.

The Passengers, John Marrs, Berkley, ISBN 978-1-9848-0697-0, $26.00, 340 pgs.

This is a story of the near future.  Or maybe the near past.  It’s hard to say.  Anywho, it involves driver-less cars.  You have those right now, right?  It’s hard for us to tell as we are not as adept at identifying variant forms of ancient technology as we would hope to be.  And you just have too much of it.  But we speed ahead.  This is not so much about Passengersdriverless cars as it is about being trapped in one.  An individual has managed to hack the programming on a number of driverless vehicles which have passengers in them.  The are trapped and being moved, from different points, to a single, convergent, place.  At relatively high speed.  Need we even say that those inside these vehicles are less than happy about that.  Of course, they are even less so when the hacker starts whacking them off.  Audience to all of this is the group that had been gathered to make determinations around who was at fault regarding accidents involving driverless cars.  Now, they are being asked to make choices that have immediate and lethal consequences.  And to make it worse, the hacker is posting the whole thing live to the internet.  The interplay is between the two groups—the diverse decision-making group and the diverse set of passengers and the way that the hacker manipulates the entire situation using social media and the parsing of information.  We think it’s horrifying enough to be trapped in a vehicle that you have no control over and even more so to think that your most intimate failings are going to be put on your facebook.  We found the entire exercise interesting.  If you want to be terrified of getting into a driverless car then you should definitely pick this one up.  Klaarg reminds you that there are no good robots.

Sisters of the Fire, Kim Wilkins, Del Rey, ISBN 978-0-399-17750-7, $27.00, 446 pgs.

This is the second entry in this series.  It continues what began in Daughters of the Storm and will continue at some point in the future.  It’s the same group as before.  A bunch of sisters, daughters of the king, all in various states and situations, physically and sisters of the firementally.  The central sister is once again Bluebell, the ferocious warrior who dutifully serves as heir to the kingdom.  Sister Rose has been cast out by her husband and is in exile with her aunt.  Sister Ash wanders the moors looking for dragons while sister Ivy now rules, somewhat badly, over a seaport.  Sister Willow is not quite right in her thinking and is making pacts with bad actors to get revenge.  All the sisters end up in the same place along with the dragon, a bunch of raiders, a niece with unusual powers (we kind of left this part out but it’s in there, along with the forest people), a bunch of unhappy villagers, and the king.  It’s an interesting story with a lot of moving parts that works very well.  We liked it and we look forward to the next offering as we are sure there will be more as this story is not yet complete.  Klaarg points out that there are no good robots involved.  We remind Klaarg that there are no robots involved at all.

An Informal History of the Hugos, Jo Walton, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-7908-5, $31.99, 574 pgs.

This is a big un. And, unlike other histories that compile the works in question, this instead, collects writings about those things.  So, completely different.  Jo Walton, who wrote a series of posts for Tor.com, looking at each year’s finalists and winners, from the beginning up to the year 2000, is opinionated and knowledgeable about the subject informal history of the hugosmatter.  Wait, she has not written since the beginning but has written about since the beginning.  And, we are happy to note, this is not done in an academic style which, we think, makes it something for everyone and not the occasional scholar.  Also, because of the nature of this, one post a year, it is possible to watch the change over time since this volume covers 47 years.  It’s a commentary that is as much about your changing and shifting culture as it is about the works themselves and the writers who have put them together.  And, to make the whole thing much better, it includes reactions and responses to the posts that were posted.  Often the posts are as interesting as the initial commentary.  To quote a friend of ours, “fascinating.”  One of the more fun things for us was to just see how many really good things there have been to read over this time period.  We greatly enjoyed this and will be citing it no doubt. You should too.  Enjoy, not cite, although feel free to do both.  Buy your own.  Or buy two.  Why not?  Klaarg has to warn you that there is more than one or two discussions involved robots, good and bad, within.  He’s right, although we’re not sure how he knows such things since he refuses to have anything to do with robots.

The Fated Sky, Mary Robinette Kowal, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-9894-9, $15.99, 384 pgs.

This is a sequel to the first one which was called The Calculating Stars and is part of the Lady Astronaut series.  The lady astronauts do laundry, clean, and bake things they are fated skybest known for, all while having time for a career in space although some of this one is set on the moon and not in space, and not on the dark side, thank goodness.  This is one of your alternating histories, and it is indeed a bit depressing to think that women, who make up a bit more than half of your species, are still considered not the better half, even though the evidence is clearly there for all to see.  We’re just going to leave it at that since we don’t want to rile too many of you up as this leads to war, environmental pollution and the burning of forests, and there is far too much of all of that going on anyway.  We did enjoy this just like we enjoyed the first one and we believe you will enjoy this too, unless you are one of those who think that women are best seen and not heard, in which case you will hate it. Klaarg liked it too. You probably already know why.

Well, another period of time passes and you have once again spent it here instead of looking for that planet killer asteroid that is heading your way.  And, as the host of one of your numerous late night shows says of our work, “Can you believe they’re getting away with this?”  Hmmm, might be time to schedule that one for a probing.  No, we kid.  Probing was completed just 4 months into our 5 year mission when we realized we had all learned everything there was to know about your species.  We’re heading back to the dark side just in case that rover gets too close.  We’ll be back.  Or we’ll be on rover tv!  You can watch for us there, or just look up.  Eyes to the skies.


NeinTein

March 10, 2019

Greenings Thirders

We see you continue to shoot all kinds of things into your low orbit.  You do know that low orbits aren’t really good for much as anything you put there just comes back to you, right?  Anyway, it’s getting quite crowded around your planet.  We project that in the next 50 years, assuming a modest pro-curve, that you will have surrounded your planet with so much stuff that you will no longer be able to get into orbit without hitting something.  But don’t worry, your climate will ensure that you aren’t able to do that.  Unless you are planning a mass adaption of your species.  Are you?  We would advise against it.  The species on Cicola 6 tried that and they may never escape the gore pits they all fell into.  But it’s your call.  Just give us a couple of days’ notice so we can stock up on YooHoo and burgers.

Nemesis Games, James A. Corey, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-21758-3, $27.00, 532 pgs.

It grows again.  We like this story as it comes the closest to what an emerging species push into their own system is actually like.  Well, without all the intra-species killing.Nemesis Games You are pretty much the only one that hung onto that behavior once civilization was discovered.  This one continues to follow the crew of the Rocinante as they take some well-deserved personal time.  This is the crew of the Rocinante so you know their personal time is going to involve getting involved in some interesting problems and issues.  And these are spread across your system from the belt to Mars to Earth.  Things are falling apart of have already fallen apart and are trying to be rebuilt or totally dismantled, depending on which side you are on.  We liked it a lot.  We enjoy this adventure and can only hope that more get produced before you all off yourselves.  Highly recommended.  Go, buy, enjoy, repeat.

Legion, Brandon Sanderson, Tor, ISBN 978-1-250-29779-2, $27.99, 352 pgs.

This is very interesting.  Stephen Leeds has something wrong with his mind.  To most he would appear to be schizophrenic, interacting with illusory stimulus that only he can Legionsee.  From his perspective however, these stimuli manifest as distinct individuals who are created when he focuses on a particular knowledge base.  So, from the outside he appears nuts but from his side he appears to be surrounded by distinct experts in multiple fields.  This makes him sought after as a detective who can solve the most complicated cases.  It also makes him want to spend his time by himself and out of the public eye.  And the entire time he is looking for a woman who is just like him, more or less, and who left rather abruptly.  We thoroughly enjoyed the way this was developed and presented and the cases that Leeds looks into are al pretty fascinating as well.  Very highly recommended.

The Stars now Unclaimed, Drew Williams, Tor, ISBN 978-1-250-18611-9, $24.99, 447 pgs.

Something called The Pulse has gone out and basically destroyed varying levels of technology on each planet it touches.  Some it leaves alone, others it knocks back to the stone age and the rest are somewhere in the middle.  This thing is never explained but just accepted as having happened, otherwise the whole story kind of falls apart.  WhileThe Stars Now Unclaimed we know of nothing that operates this way—things tending to be purpose built to achieve a specific end, and a frying pan that sometimes burned your eggs to a crisp while other times leaving them totally uncooked is not much of a device—we must also say that we have not see everything there is to see.  We keep an open mind but only because we think this might be representative of something.  Anycase, Jane is an agent for the Justified, a group that is searching the galaxy for enhanced beings—who just happened to be enhanced by the same Pulse.  We are sure it slices and dices as well.  Jane visits a planet and finds a young girl and rescues her from the clutches of the Pax, a race that believes that the Pulse has ordained them to be galactic masters.  Then it’s a chase back to the Justified home space with Jane breaking all the rules along the way and leading the Pax straight to her base, which is something they are never supposed to do.  It gets worse from there although the ending is not as bleak as one might imagine.  We found this one to be okay.  Will you like it?  Hard for us to say.  Some of you will.  Some of you won’t.  We did like the interplay between the characters.

The Razor, J. Barton Mitchell, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-8792-9, $26.99, 399 pgs.

This is about prison and the bad people who inhabit it.  The prison is set on a prison planet because at some point you have enough planets and don’t know what to do with them so you make a prison one.  Why they actually build the prison on the planet instead of just tossing prisoners out the door is kind of beyond us.  But here you are with a the Razorprison, actually a bunch of them, built on a prison planet.  Not only that but they planet they picked has an odd orbit which keeps pretty much one side to the sun (not really but just stick with us) and one side not to the sun.  This means that half the planet is boiling hot and the other half more than freezing cold.  There is a thin terminator where things are just right.  Why even be on this planet in the first place?  Well, there are minerals there.  But, what, you say, surely it is no economically viable to build prisons just to use prison labor to mine this stuff when there is a clear level of automation that could do it much cheaper.  Yeah, sure, but punishing people by sending them to a prison planet and making then work feels much better.  We are just surmising here on your behalf.  So, there’s a former guard who has been sent back as a prisoner, a doctor who is beholden to a nasty gang, and mysterious stuff occurring that puts everyone in danger.  Did we mention the unethical and highly dangerous biological experiments they were also doing on this planet?  No?  Our bad.

Okay, we found this interesting although the implausibility’s kept snagging in our eye stalks.  Maybe you can tolerate them more.  Hard to say.  We liked a couple of the characters.  But they were the evil ones so that may say more about us than anything else.

You return once again, like a moth to a flaming death.  Who are we to stop your repetitive destruction?  It’s like Brexit all over again.   To which a renowned British expert was heard to call out when posed this dilemma, “you want chips with that?”  Why, yes, yes we do, yes indeed.  And we’re taking them to the far side of the sun where your sister planet revolves in an entirely similar orbit although the planetary outcome is entirely different.  We’ll return. They’re not anywhere near as exciting as you are.  Eyes to the skies.


Ateine

January 8, 2019

Greenings Thirders

It is good to finally be done with your Holy Days, although as we look at the calendar it does not seem that a week goes by without something that you celebrate by ceasing all work and progress, except for the negative stuff, that you manage to keep doing every second of every day.  We were out in the Oort again, just for the heck of it.  Lot’s of interesting stuff in the Oort.  You can tell a lot by the debris that surrounds a solar system you know.  Best of all the Oort is full of ammunition in case a planetary correction needs to be made.  We found any number of likely planet killer candidates.  But that’s a whole different discussion and most likely not needed since you are quickly turning your planet into an uninhabitable mess anyway.  Well, uninhabitable for you.  We’re sure many things will manage to survive.  And who knows, perhaps for the better in the long run.  Maybe some virus or sea slug will turn into a species that is not as self-destructive as you are.  It could happen.

Cibola Burn, James A. Corey, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-21762-0, $27.00, 581 pgs.

This story just gets bigger and bigger.  It is like the expanding universe.  This big yesterday but this big today.  We still like this a lot.  It’s like letters from home.  Not that anyone sends letters anymore.  But that’s a whole different thing.  This time the crew ofcibola the Roci are sent through one of the newly opened gates to mediate a conflict between authorized settlers and independent settlers for the same planet. As if this were not enough there’s a rebel underground and the tiny bit of goo from the protomolecule that is on the Roci manages to communicate with million-year-old remnants on the planet.  Oh James Holden what have you gotten yourself into this time.  We liked it.  A lot.  A real lot.  We think this is the best stuff out there right now.  Klaarg agrees and has been trying to figure out how he can sign up for a tour.  Not to be missed or ignored.  Read them all.  Do it today.  Who knows, tomorrow they might make a tv show out of it.

The Furnace, Prentis Rollins, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-9868-0, $19.99, 192 pgs.

This is a graphic novel, which is just another way of saying it’s a big comic book.  This is about a guy who gets involved in an experiment that ends up having a world changing furnaceimpact.  Basically, it assigns a shielded AI bot to a prisoner and the bot enshrouds the prisoner so that no one can see them (or be felt by them so far as we can tell).  This seems great and soon prisons are shut down and all prisoners have bots and all bots are run out of a single facility.  The problem is that prisoners tend to not last long under the bot.  None of this really matters except that it is the driving factor in a story that otherwise is pretty boring and mundane. Unless we missed something.  But between the text and the pictures you would think it would all be pretty clear.  We finished it, but, then, it was a big comic book so how hard could that really have been?  Can’t say we liked it.  Can’t say we understood it.  We did like the pretty pictures.  But the story needed to be assigned a prison bot.  We won’t comment that the title might be the most fitting place for this to end up.  Oh wait, we just did.  Bad us.

Welcome to Dystopia, Gordon Van Gelder, O/R books, ISBN 978-1-68219-126-2, $22.00, 406 pgs.

It’s quite possible that this book is the most fitting we have ever come across for your species.  The second title is, 45 Visions of What Lies Ahead.  What the title does not tell you, although you could certainly put it together for yourself, is that nothing good liesdystopia' ahead.  Nothing.  Nada.  Nuttin’.  The nice thing about this collection is that all of the stories are very short.  This means that if there is a dystopian future that you find personally insulting, it’s only a few pages until the next, and perhaps one which might warm your heart.  Contributors include a wide swath of names that should be familiar to all of you.  Kevin Anderson, Lisa Mason, Barry Malzberg, Madeleine Robins, Paul Witcover, Eileen Gunn, Ray Vukecevich, James Sallis, and the list goes on and on and on like the roll call of some vast suicide club penning their final dark thoughts before drawing the blade across the flesh.  We liked it as it met all of our expectations and thoughts about how things might end for you although we have to admit there were more than a few scenarios that even we had not anticipated.  Well done, albeit we are not sure you should try consuming it in one sitting.

Ancillary Mercy, Ann Leckie, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-24668-2, $15.99, 333 pgs.

This is the third offering in this grouping.  We enjoyed the first two very much and we enjoyed this one equally so.  It continues the story of the ship intelligence that ended up ancillaryin a human, kind of, and has been waging a vendetta against the pieces of the current ruler of the aggregate known as the Radch. Yes, pieces, as the person is literally at war with herself.  Needless to say this makes figuring out who’s side you are on very complex.  The former ship, now Breq, is on a station that has been cut off from known space due to the war.  The station is surrounded by potential enemies. To make matters worse the station is visited by an alien emissary of a powerful, if somewhat erratic race, the last emissary of which Breq killed.  And to make matters even more worse, a part of the fragmented ruler shows up.  Talk about trying to figure out which side of the bread is the butter on!  Into the mix are the AI’s who have been set free, the people who are pretending to be pieces of various AIs and beings who are extremely old trying to outmaneuver each other.  As we stated before all this, we enjoyed the machinations, as it were.  So will you no doubt, but only if you peruse it yourself.  Go.  Buy.  We’ll wait.

Here you are once again.  What can we say but wake up!  And remember, love is like oxygen, you get too much you get too high, not enough and you are going to die.  While you are pondering this let us remind you that an authority no less vast than the Washington Post had this to say after reading this: “Pinocchios!!!!”  We did some research into this and wooden you know it, he’s not even a real boy.  We’re back to the Oort for ice cream.  We’ll probably return.  Look to the skies.


Sevintene

December 16, 2018

Greenings Thirders

Holy Days, Holy Days, Holy Days.  We’re surrounded.  And more than slightly confused.  But much of what your species does confuses us.  Which is why we study your writing.  Typically, a species’ writing is a clue to its behavior and culture.  With humans, not so much.  Unless it is that you believe you are doomed to not survive tomorrow.  What kind of future is that to move towards?  We’re not sure as we are on new ground here.  But we have a couple of years left so we’ll just plod along and pretend we understand what you are up to.  Besides the planetary death wish thing, which is kind of evident to anyone who wanders anywhere close to your system.

Hollywood Dead, Richard Kadrey, Harper Voyager, ISBN 978-0-06-247417-9, $26.99, 351 pgs.

I believe we have read all of these so far and we have enjoyed each and every tale of Sandman Slim.  This time, Slim is dead.  He’s been dead before but managed to survive.  And, we have to admit, he is surviving this time too, although his long-term prognosis is Holywood Deadgrim.  Slim has been brought back by a necromancer working for Wormwood, a group hoping to get world power but splintered into at least two sections fighting amongst themselves.  One piece wants Slim to off the other piece and, of course, the other piece is not that keen on being offed.  This leads to multiple dilemmas and situations that put Slim and his friends at risk.  Worst of all, Slim is under a pretty tight deadline.  (Oh yes we did.)  Will he win out?  Does he survive?  It’s a series, yeah?  We liked this one very much and we hope to get more.  You will like it too, but get your own copy, ours got a little too close to the strassnesk sauce and needs to be decontaminated.

Abaddon’s Gate, James A. Corey, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-12907-7, $17.00, 539 pgs.

Hooya, this is another one that we just love.  This is so real to what it is like to be in space that one thinks it must have been written by those who have been there and not one of your own, dirt bound individuals.  We love this stuff.  This time it is all about a abaddons gategate sitting out at the end of your solar system.  The gate is a creation of the proto molecule (which we know nothing about so we think it might be a metaphor) and everyone has gone out to take a look—the Earth people, the Martian people, the belt people and the UN who are kind of the Earth people only different and we’ll leave that up to you to figure out.  Needless to say, you can’t put more than two humans together without getting a fist fight, fists being metaphors for any weapon of any sort, type or destructive ability.  You guys do like to blow each other up.  We enjoyed this one, even Klaarg since there are, apparently no robots in this universe.  Highly recommended.  Seriously.  Why are you not reading this right now?

The Calculating Stars, Mary Robinette Kowal, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-7838-5, $24.99, 432 pgs.

This is maybe one of those imagined histories since it bears no relation to actual events.  This is about lady astronauts and your planet being hit by a big rock.  The big rock destroys a chunk of your United States but, more importantly, tosses enough stuff into your atmosphere (not that you’d really notice) that it is going to change the climate to thecalculating stars point where you will have a hard time surviving.  Well, not you but the ones in the book.  Actually, you too but for different reasons.  So, your space efforts are accelerated because it is decided that you can move to Mars.  Now, we’re pretty sure this was not greatly thought out since the resources needed to survive on Mars probably far outweighs the resources that you would need to stay and survive on your own planet.  But this is not about that.  This is about lady astronauts.  And, this is a lady astronaut novel which implies that there are more coming so maybe you are going to populate Venus as well.  It was interesting barring the few holes in the logic.  But that should not stop you. Or at least it has not so far.  You’ll probably like it.  We did enough so that we’ll pick up the next one.

Starless, Jacqueline Carey, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-8682-3, $26.99, 587 pgs.

We have to admit that we grabbed this one for the title, thinking it has something to do with celestial navigation and Klaarg can always use some pointers with his driving.  But starlesswe were wrong.  Instead it is about gods, who were stars and who were cast down onto the planet (we don’t want to quibble, but someone needs to do some research on how many stars there actually are).  This is also the story of prophecy and about two individuals who are thrust together to fulfil it, along with a cast of characters that makes the journey even more interesting.  This is broken into three parts.  Part one is the training of the bodyguard.  Part two is the meeting between guard and guarded, and part three is the quest.  We have to admit that we enjoyed the entire thing.  It fairly buzzed right along.  Each section fit with the others and, we are pleased to say, there was an actual ending.  And a satisfying one at that.  If you are a previous fan, then you will be a current one as well.  If you are new, then you should stop fooling around and get a copy for your own.  We liked it a lot.  We highly recommend it.  And if you happen to have an extra copy of Celestial Navigating for Dummies, please let us know.

Here you are once again, wasting your valuable time.  While you were doing that we were in your Washington where your current commander in chief said after a quick read, “Great.  I’m really, really great”.  Enjoy your holy days before the comet comes and takes them all away.  If that doesn’t happen, we’ll be back.  Look to the skies.


Phiv Tien

October 15, 2018

Greenings Thirders

Happy Hoo Ha Humans.  We celebrate with you of course and not at you.  It is the anniversary of things.  For too long there have been things and now it is time to celebrate.  So lift a mitt and grasp your flute and drown your sorrows for tomorrow is a new day. Yesterday was a new day as well but that is so old news that we hardly want to speak of it.  Forge ahead with gusto. Keep your eyes closed for who wants to see a future that contains only bad things?  Not you of course.  So, let us move on and never speak of this again.

Daughters of the Storm, Kim Wilkins, Del Rey, ISBN 978-0-399-17747-7, $27.00, 434 pgs.

The King is struck down by a mysterious ailment and the Queen, fearing the worst, should send for his eldest daughter but, instead, sends for her son.  She’s the newest Queen after all and not the first Queen, who died.  Word reaches the eldest daughter anyway, a mighty warrior, who sends word to her four sisters to join her in the capital of Almissia to see what they can do for their father.  They arrive to find daughtersthe Kind ensorcelled, and the Queen quite out of sorts.  They banish the Queen’s son, lock up the Queen, and sneak off with the King hoping to find a cure.  Of course this is mostly the plan of the eldest, warrior daughter and not any of the others.  They all go along because they are not warrior daughters.  They drag the poor, mostly unconscious King, across the countryside until a number of things happen, some foreseen, some not, which leads to a final conclusion.  Should you be concerned about any of this?  Sure, it’s well told albeit a bit of a stretch in places, but who are we to say.  Why an advanced species, that’s who!  But you care nothing for this.  We liked it, we enjoyed the interplay between the characters, although the King kind of sleepwalked through the whole thing.  Get it and enjoy it for yourself.

Caliban’s War, James S. A. Corey, Orbit, ISBN 978-0-316-12906-0, $17.00, 595 pgs.

This is 130 pages longer than the last one.  That’s about 30%.  So, we figure, 30% more better, yes?  In this case, yes indeed.  We do like this.  While it does not capture the true boredom of being in space, it does pretty much capture everything else.  We’re still not calibansure what happened to Klaarg’s squeeze ball the last time we had to maneuver to avoid hitting a sun, for example  This one continues the tale of the last one and if you have watched the Expanse on your siffy channel then you already know most of what happens here.  We have done both.  And we enjoyed both.  We watched first and read later.  We’d like to report on the opposite experience but can’t.  Want to know what happens here?  We’ll never tell other than to say it’s the kind of stuff that you should be following rather than the kind of stuff you most likely are.  Go out, get it, read it and then get some more.  There’s more out there for sure.  The best thing is that it kind of captures the human future that has the most likelihood of really happening.  Every 10 pages you humans are once more on the brink of self-extinction.  This is how you are and it’s nice to see that others also recognize this.  Highly recommended.  Stop reading this, find Wonder Woman and have her get her friends to put an order in for you.  On a final note we actually had to go out and buy our own copy of this.  Not the way it’s quite supposed to work, us being a more advanced species and all, and yet, there it is.

Salvation, Peter F. Hamilton, Del Rey, ISBN 978-0-399-17876-4, $30.00, 576 pgs.

Those of you who are fans already will know that this is the beginning of a stand alone trilogy.  Which means, we suppose, that it can not easily be placed within the universe of which Hamilton usually writes.  We hate to be the ones to tell you this but there is only salvationone.  It is huge, so many easily begin to think there must be multiples but if they would just stop and ask directions this kind of thinking would quickly stop.  Anycase, this is kind of a murder mystery wrapped in a technological envelope.  A bunch of bodies are found in different locations, clearly killed by multiple but different groups and, yet linked in some way.  A team is eventually assembled to head out to a far planet upon which a crashed space ship may hold the key.  On the ship are a group of disparate individuals who are all, more or less, linked to each other.  But one of them is not what they seems, or, rather, none of them are really what they seem but one is not what they are.  Confusing yes?  Well that’s why this takes more than 500 pages to explain.  You’ll enjoy it.  We did.  We enjoy most of what comes out of Hamilton’s head.  If you are already a fan then run out and get yours now.  If you are not yet a fan, and you will be, run out and get yours now.
Echoes of Understorey, Thoraiya Dyer, Tor, ISBN 978-0-7653-8595-6, $16.99, 350 pgs.

This is the second Titan’s Forest novel.  We mean to say that it is the second thing set in that place.  Well, we are really just repeating here since what do we know about these echoesthings.  We somehow missed the first one, meaning that we either went totally unaware of it or thought it might not be our cup of tea.  It’s possible we thought it was a Titan’s Quest novel and since we did not really care for that game we passed.  In any ways we did not pass this time.  The whole idea here is that the forest is everything.  There is the ground or the under forest, the mid forest and the upper forest.  There are layers and paths and ways and entire cultures based on being here in this place rather than there in that place.  There are ways to move on trees and between trees and ways to avoid the things that also do that but are bigger and meaner than you.  This is also the story of Imeris, sister of a goddess and one who wishes to be the best fighter in Understory.  She’s not doing all that well with that when she ends up being framed and banished and cast out then recruited to hunt a monster.  Oh yeah, it’s a divine monster to top it all off.  This is a chase and a quest and a redemption and a story of choices and places.  We enjoyed it muchly and will look for further offerings.  We find it hard to place this one in terms of category other than to say that it is well done and should be read by all.  That includes you.

Here you are once again, having spent your time in such a way as to make even Stormy Daniels say “More?  No thanks.”  We do have more but you, and Stormy, will have to wait.  For now we’re off to look for Planet 10 as we think it might be tied to some rogue comets and we’re all for that.  We’ll be back.  Try not to annihilate yourself while we are gone.  Then again, it might be the best time since we won’t be around.  Either way, we’ll be back.  Keep your eyes peeled.  Unless they already have been.